"Dear Mo ... "

Dear Mo,

Sometimes when I go to venues, the host doesn’t greet me. I think it’s rude if the host doesn’t greet everyone as they come in. If they are saying hi to everyone, that should include me. Is this something I should talk to the host about, or would you suggest I talk to the venue owner directly?

Thanks,
"Feeling Overlooked"

Dear Feeling Over,

Really? This is the first submission to my column? I thought I’d be tackling tough interpersonal relationship issues or settling down some SL drama, but you come at me with feeling sad that someone didn’t type your name when you came into a room?

Hey, here’s my advice. Maybe you say hi to THEM first? They're probably busy hosting or something.

If they don’t say hi back, THEN you can feel sad.

Let me know how that works out for ya’. (or not)

-- Mo

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Dear Mo,

I have a friend who constantly flirts with my SL boyfriend. It was fine at first, but she does it almost all the time now. He’s started flirting back. I am in a different time zone than they are, so I go to bed while they’re still up for hours. This has me wondering what they might be doing when I’m not in SL and they are.

I have talked with my bf about it, but he laughs it off and really doesn’t act like it’s a big deal. But it is to me. I’ve asked him not to hangout with her when I’m not there, but he says he isn’t going to leave a place just because she’s there too. Which means they are probably flirting with each other when I’m not there too.

What should I do about this? 

Thanks,
Flirty-something

Dear Flirty-something,

Now HERE’S what I signed on to do! Give solid, yet unprofessional advice to the SL masses!

SL is fertile flirting grounds for anyone prone to do it. It kind of comes with the territory. If someone is a RL flirt, they’re going to do it here as well.  Is your bf just a flirty kinda guy, or is this only with this specific friend? If it's just a one-off with her, he's suspect.

I’d suggest you go at this from a girl power angle. Talk to your friend about it. Explain how it makes you feel and ask her if she’d like it if the shoe were on the other foot. She may also play it off as a big nothing burger, but you will feel better having spoken up. If she doesn't realize it and stop doing something with your bf that is bothering you - perhaps she's more a frenemy? 

The real issue here isn’t your friend though. It’s your bf not validating your feelings and you apparently not trusting him. That is a conversation you should have if you’re in a serious SL relationship, just as you would if you were in a RL relationship. Feelings are feelings. Doesn’t matter if it’s SL or RL. No one wants to think they’re being made a fool of, especially when they aren’t around to see what's going on.

It's pretty much numero uno  in the SL Relationship Commandments. "Thou shall not  flirt or hangout with Thous best friends man/woman when Thou is not around nor have they given express permission to do so". Look it up!

Talk to them both. Maybe together. Lay down the law and tell them this is not something you’ll tolerate anymore.

Also – come in under an alt after you’ve logged out and see what they’re up to. You know you can do that, right?

-- Mo

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Dear Mo,

My avi is a large woman. I made her this way to give some indication of how I look in RL. I like to keep it real, even in SL.

I have had many rude comments said to me, in IMs and in open chat. People comment on my ass and boobs all the time. I’ve had skinny little avatar people I don’t even know ask me how come I make my legs so big!

Why do people make rude comments when they see a larger avi? Just like in RL. They fat shame avatars!

I don’t tell them they have ugly clothes or make fun of the way they dance.

What should I say to these people?

Thanks,
Big Booty Mama

Dear Big Booty Mama,

How RUDE! I agree with you. It is no one’s business if you want to be a fat ass in SL!

It takes all kinds and in SL, we see ALL kinds, right?

How boring would it be if everyone looked the same…a bunch of Amazon-tall women with legs up to here, long blond/red hair, flawless skin and shapely curves… oh, right! That IS how it is in many areas of SL!

You just do YOU! Do not worry what they say about or to you.

It’s your SL, Mama. You WORK it anyway you like!

When someone comments or IM’s you, just tell them – it’s big, it’s juicy, and it’s mine!

Rock on with your big self! "Screw the scrawnies!"

-- Mo

- SG -

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